F is for Frustration

It's been one of those days, or years, is more like it. I'm frustrated. I may have to homeschool Caitie during what I considered to be her year for Kindergarten. All the schools I've gotten in touch with does not accept any children that are four years of age before August 30, but will soon turn five not too long after, there are no exceptions. I plan on putting her in Pre-K, or what is better known as advanced Preschool, but that will only be for a couple of hours each weekday, which doesn't amount to much, but at least it's something. As I mentioned above, I can homeschool her this year at the Kindergarten level, but I've tried being a 'teacher', and let me tell you, I don't like it! I'm not patient enough, I'm critical, and it's just not something I'm interested in doing, not with a four-year-old that would rather be playing 'dog', anyway. But we'll see how it goes, I guess. As I'm writing this, I'm having to ask Caitie for probably the 35th time to please finish writing her small case alphabet letters, she's just not interested. She does pretty good with the upper case letters, but not the small ones so much. I need to make it more fun, and I need to lighten up, I guess, but I'm concerned if I make light of it, she will too, and that's not in her best interest. I become more frustrated when she sees me as enemy #1, and she sees her daddy as her best play buddy. I'm the main disciplinarian (i guess i should say i'm the only disciplinarian since she has her daddy wrapped around her little finger), I'm the mean teacher, and with that combination (not to mention my not being able to hold her and do the things we did before I got pregnant, and her having to be careful around me for the last nine months), one would think I'm becoming the next 'mommy dearest'; Joan Crawford has nothing on me. But I have to keep at it... someone has to, and it may as well be me. Have I pitied myself enough yet? nahhh... Not even close, but I won't go on about it here... I'll just post a pic of me and Caitie on a day when I wasn't considered enemy #1, even if it was only for a short while.

This pic was done by self-timer, it was taken back in May when I was around seven months pregnant with Bailey. It's dark, grainy, and not well focused, kind of like my ability at being a so-called 'teacher'... blah, blah, blah... (i wonder if my hormones are getting back to normal yet? it seems i may have a ways to go.)...





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